Legendary? I'll Say...

Last weekend, Franke and I figured we'd do our part to stimulate the economy while watching our dollars. "Hey, I got this 2-for-1 coupon in the mail from Stoney River," I chirped with a smirk, eyebrows raised in a question mark. Should we try it?" To say that I regret the experience altogether would be inaccurate. I chalk it up to a learning experience, further reinforcement to go with my gut on these things. There's a reason I had never been to Stoney River before, and now there are several reasons why I wouldn't go back.

I had never darkened the doors of this establishment before last week because I figured it was just one of those typical chain restaurants with chain fare. Ding, ding!

Going in, we figured it was pretty hard to mess up a steak. The filet was fine. Nothing special. No great flavor. Nothing memorable about it. The potatoes were good. Franke got the fish. I think it was a sea bass or something. It was shaped like a heart, which was strange and very unnatural, and it was seasoned with an even more unnatural something or other. I wouldn't call it a spice, necessarily. I'm still a little stumped what it was, to be quite honest.

Now, I would have overlooked the sub par taste of the food if the prices had not been so ridiculously high for this level of grub. It's dumbfounding, really. Why, we wondered, would anyone ever come here without a 2-for-1 coupon in their pockets? Even with the coupon, we paid too much. And why, we wondered even more, do so many people repeatedly patronize restaurants with sub par food when they could get fabulous meals at the same or better prices at smaller, chef-owned restaurants all over town? It's an American phenonenon, for sure, and one this foodie will never, ever understand.

The bartender did give a generous pour of the vino, and for that we were grateful. The place was packed out, too. Our very friendly yet nearly indecipherable, low-talking, marble-mouthed waiter confirmed our suspicion that we were not the only 2-for-1's in the joint. He estimated about nine out of 10 patrons that evening were sporting coupons. Not a good night for tips, he bemoaned.

Looking around the Stoney River Legendary Steakhouse on this particular evening, it was quite the motley crew. It looked more like a Hooters crowd than one you'd find at a West End steakhouse on a Friday night.

I'll give Stoney River points, though, for truth in advertising. It was, indeed, Legendary.